BTTS Vol. 3 (aka Everybody Eavesdrops, and With Good Reason…)

…the reason being, it’s hilarious! Sorry kids, but you really do say the darndest things.

Talk to any adult who spends the majority of their waking hours with anyone under the age of 18 (stay-at-home parents, homeschoolers, EAs, ECEs, day-care workers, teachers, and the like) and they will tell you that one of the hardest parts of working with non-adults is the lack of adult conversation. Over the years, I have written down, tweeted, facebooked, and texted all of the ridiculous things I have heard the kids I’m teaching say, because you truly cannot make this stuff up. Those of you who spend your days with adults don’t know what you’re missing.

Here are some of my favourites:

13 year-old: “He uses a flip-phone!”
Her friend: “Ewwwww!”
13 year-old: “What is this, 2008?”
Her friend: “More like 1896!”
Ouch. I loved my flip-phones and pine for the days that I could slap a call shut.

(While on Facebook): “No, that’s Jimmy Fallon, and *that’s* Channing Tatum!”
Ah yes, two celebrities I too struggle to distinguish.

(Said to me): “You have a Blackberry, Miss? You must be rich!”
I bet no one ever said that to an iPhone user (she typed, smugly).

(To another child, stomping in a puddle): “Nooooo! Don’t step on one of God’s creatures!”
I consider this level of compassion a win for the Catholic school system.

“There’s Wiz the wizard who’s a lizard. He’s not a wizard. He’s the king.”
I just…I…I don’t know.

“On the other hand, lesbians.”
A solid argument you’ve got there.

“If I don’t make it on Broadway, I’m just going to write for Buzzfeed.”
Well, everyone *does* need a backup plan…

“I want to study Linguistics so I can get a job right out of university.”
Ah to be young and naive again.

(All from the same Grade 12 student):
“Having a meal plan will be so cool!”
“Living in rez will be awesome. The pictures of the rooms are soooo nice!”
“I’m really excited to have a roommate in rez. It’s like an instant best friend!”
“You’re applying to Carleton too? We’re going to see each other all of the time!”
I don’t know if I want to shatter her blissfully ignorant assumptions of university, or go back and do it all over again.

“Why don’t they just call snow, like, ‘frozen falling water’?”
I honestly cannot give you an answer to that.

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5 thoughts on “BTTS Vol. 3 (aka Everybody Eavesdrops, and With Good Reason…)

  1. So true. My brother calls his kids “constant comedy.” My favorite quote so far from my five year old is: “Time is illuuusion. Dat means it doesn’t exist.” Best excuse for not knowing the difference between tomorrow and yesterday that I have ever heard.

    Liked by 1 person

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